Are you tired of the same old greeting cards, that say the same thing year after year? And are you tired of giving the gift that is never appreciated? I’m offering you a solution to your gift giving problems, It is LIMERICKS ON DEMAND… just send me the info on the person and occasion, be it Birthday, Anniversary, Birth, Wedding, etc.. and I will create a Limerick for that person and occasion for a small fee. But if you need a regular poem, and not a Limerick, don’t hesitate to call jay5

Limerick Samples

1~ MY SINGING DAD

My dad was a Baritone singer,
All those old folk songs were a bother,
Sang with all of his might
He would sing day and night,
I thought ‘Danny Boy’ was my brother.

He was a Carpenter- Joiner by trade,
In his workshop much music was made,
He sang Irish, Scottish,
And sometimes some British,
The ‘Bonnie, Bonnie Banks’ never fade.

‘Irish Eyes’ they were always smiling,
But my dad never stopped his singing,
About his ‘Sweet Colleen’
And his ‘Goodnight Irene’,
But ‘Mother Mc Cree’ had me sighing.

He was wedding singer for the town,
Sang for birthdays and parties around,
And he’d whistle sometimes
If he forgot his lines,
We were sad when his heart let him down.

2~ DANNY

There once was a waiter named Danny
Who thought that he had a cute fanny
So he switched for his tip
And he wiggled his hip
The tip that he got was uncanny!

3~BABY DADDY
Let me tell you ’bout my neighbor Brent
Police swoop down on his apartment,
He fathered six babies
By four different ladies,
They got him for Child-Support-Payment

4~MUMMY OR GRANNY ?

There’s a fifty-eight year old lady
Who decided to have a baby,
This is what bothers me
‘Cause by the time that he
Comes out diapers, she’d be ready.

And this poor kid would be in a mess
At the mercy of peers, I confess,
They’d ask if she’s Granny
Won’t believe she’s Mummy,
This child’s life would be one of great stress.

I would like to compare her to me
I’m already Great-Grandma you see,
Can’t see myself really
Pushing a big belly,
And my old boobs nursing a baby.

5~ HAPPY 41ST ANNIVERSARY

Anniversaries are always fun
And it’s great to get to forty-one,
My greetings I’ll relate
Hope your day will be great,
And that you’ll have your fun in the sun.
*~!~*
Happy Anniversary to you
I pray that 30 more years will do,
Ella and Al, you’re class
To you, I lift my glass,
As we toast to your true love renewed.

Just to let you know that your limericks can be as much fun as you desire, you just have to supply the ‘dirt’ (:0)